A Mom's Perspective

The Joys of Parenting & Everything in Between

Stinkin Thinkin Gets You Nowhere

Stinkin Thinkin Gets You Nowhere
Positive Thinking = Positive Results

Stinkin Thinkin Gets You Nowhere

“No Stinkin Thinkin”! I cannot tell you the amount of times I have heard those words uttered from my hubby’s mouth. I can be my own worst enemy when it comes to situations and how I handle stress. In my striving to be a better me, love myself more and live a less stressful life, I have been taking guidance from him. Even though we don’t always see eye to eye which results in bickering, he is my rock, my best friend and someone I can count on to get me “back in balance”.

“You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind.” While I do not know the source of this quote, it’s one of hubby’s mantras to which he has three main ideals that he lives by.

#1: No Stinkin Thinkin

What is Stinkin Thinkin? By definition it is “language that fosters a bad way of thinking that makes you believe you will fail, that bad things will happen to you, or that you are not a very good person.”

Stinkin Thinkin, for me, happens when I am stressed beyond what I can normally handle. Instead of finding ways to deal with a situation or find ways around it, I will find ways and excuses of why I can’t. Remember, I said I can be my own worst enemy.

“Be careful how you are talking to yourself, because you are always listening” ~ Lisa M. Hayes

Truth! It becomes a vicious circle. All my negative thinking snowballed and resulted in not being able to get past it. For the longest time, I have made my physical limitations an excuse as to why I can’t, couldn’t or was unable to do anything. In blogging, it was holding me back. My thoughts of “who cares what I think or what I have to say” were at the forefront. The result was nothing getting done, the burden put onto others, added stress in my relationship and creating my own wall for growth, both in my personal and professional life.

Stinkin Thinkin Vicious Circle

Even though hubby knows why I can’t do certain things he has always tried to push me to at least try. This would result in arguments and being resentful because in my mind I always thought that he never understood how my body “hated me” and always felt it was a personal attack on me. This was not the case but only his way of getting me to “think outside the box” and think of ways around my limitations and to better myself which would lead to me having a much healthier mind, body and spirit.

Once I became to understand my hubby’s urges and reasoning, I had to start thinking about the company that I kept and the negativity around me. It’s really sad and I had found out to be true, having people around me who are negative, only perpetuates my own negativity, no matter how hard I strive to be positive. I tend to fall back into the mindset that I am trying so hard to get out of.

The last part of 2017 and into 2018, I have been adopting the hubby’s “life rules”. Instead of constantly thinking of why I cannot do something, I have been thinking of ways that I can and looking for that one good thing each day. It’s not as simple as I thought and at times it is a struggle. It’s a whole new mindset that as soon as I became committed and adopted it, I became much more positive in my thinking and the stress had lessened.

#2: Dissatisfaction Leads to Inspiration & Action

2017 was a year of constant let downs, disappointments and hurdles. The constant barraging and thinking “someone up there hates me” along with what seemed like a never ending holding me down and good old Murphy and his laws taking their licks, put me in a tailspin of negativity. It was a revolving door of “woe is me” that my mind couldn’t get past. I fell into somewhat of a depression that for me was an abyss of darker days ahead.

As 2017 came to a close and the dawn of 2018 came and went, it seemed to me that nothing was going to change. Then hubby, I guess having enough of me wallowing in my own self pity and self dissatisfaction took me by the hands, held me and told me everything was going to be alright! It was at that moment that I melted, cried and was able to listen. We talked for a long time and again, like so many times before, it all made sense. I just needed that nudge to get me back on track.

Once I stopped thinking so negatively, I was able to think more clearly to better resolve problems which resulted in a more positive outcome. Today, my mind is clear to think more of where I want to be and able to plan for the future.

#3: PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) 

I often wonder how my hubby can be so dayum bubbly and positive when things seem to be falling apart all around us. It’s his mindset and how he won’t be defeated. He won’t be stopped or kept down. Even when he shattered his arm in over 30 places and broke his ankle, he was a force to be reckoned with. Just recently he broke his ankle again and trying to keep him off his foot is akin to saying the sun will rise in the south, it just does not happen.

Patience, Persistence and Perseverance are the three P’s in hubby’s life that he has always tried to “instill” in me. This year, I am or rather have already adopted this mindset. I have become a better person because of it if not for my own sanity and others around me.

I am and have been very fortunate to have the luxury of staying home in order to take care of things that need to be done, because he works hard to provide. Since falling on very hard times, I have been thinking of ways to contribute and get around the limits my body places on me and not falling into the “I can’t do it” mentality. “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done” is a phrase I have heard a lot along with “It’s not going to fall into my lap”. “The world owes me nothing! I need money or I want something I’ve got to go out there and earn it.”

I’ve always had a good work ethic and have never been above doing dirty jobs and basically do what needs to be done to make ends meet – or at least get us close to it. Let me tell you that even though I was sore as hell and I felt like my body wanted to fall and crumble beneath me, it was the best feeling I have felt in a long time.

Since clearing my mind of negativity, I have found my voice, or rather a dormant one that was fighting to be set free. Going forward, I am going to be me, or rather a new and improved me by writing about my experiences, things I am passionate about, what inspires me and everything in between. It’s my hope that I can inspire others to be true to themselves, conquer their fears, face their demons, and become a more happy and balanced person no matter what obstacles come their way.

No More Stinkin Thinkin for me! If I put my mind to it, I can accomplish anything! This is my year of growth not only in mind but in spirit too and nothing is going to hold me back! 2018 Watch out because here I come!

Christine is a mom, a soon to be grandmother and a fur mom to one ‘fur baby’, a dog named Tracker who is never far from Christine’s side. A devoted gardener, during the spring and summer months Christine can normally be found tending to her flower and vegetable gardens. Living in Southern Ontario near Lake Erie, Christine enjoys spending time outdoors and is an avid hiker. She also loves doing small diy projects in her spare time.

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1 Comment

  1. Barbara W.

    Your hubby sounds a lot like my Mum. Even when she was dying of cancer, it sometimes felt like I was living with Pollyanna, as she continued to focus on the positive. Whenever I start negative self-talk, I hear her voice saying that no one is allowed to speak to her daughter that way, even me. It’s one of the best gifts she left me with. Challenges will always be a part of life, and they manifest in so many ways. I think it’s okay to acknowledge when things are difficult, and even to grieve for what we’re no longer able to do, but then it’s time to try and figure out how we can move on, even if limitations mean it will take longer than it might have in the past. Having a positive support system makes a world of difference.

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